Back on Track
by Man-lovingFeminist
Summary: A short conversation that would work for me to get Owen and Cristina back to where they need to be to get to the good stuff. Decided I'd like a couple of other conversations to take place as well.
1. Owen and Cristina

**A conversation that would work for me to get CO back to where they need to be to get to the good stuff. Yes, there are other, better writers are out there, so go easy on any criticism. But I wanted to share it anyway. All characters the property of Shonda Rhimes, ABC.**

The aftermath of Derek's surgery was a blur. Cristina had a brief moment with Owen before the police came to take their statements. And then it was late and all she could do was press Owen's hand and say, "we'll talk tomorrow" before going to spend the night at Meredith's, offering her friend as much comfort and support as she could in light of the heartbreak and tragedy she had suffered.

The next day, after accompanying Meredith back to Derek's side, she sought out Owen.

Owen looked up – surprised and tentatively joyful. They sat there a moment before he spoke:

Owen:

Cristina, I wanted you from the first moment I met you. No woman ever intrigued me, excited me and made me look forward to the next day as much as you. No one I ever felt as connected to. I came back to Seattle a changed man, but part of me came here for you. And then I really fell in love with you – there was no going back for me ever since that time you told me about why you became a surgeon. To my amazement you returned my feelings, and through all of the ups and downs of last year and a half, I had no doubt whatsoever that we belonged together, that you were the only future I wanted. You are the only person I have ever loved enough to spend a life with.

As long as I felt I could make you happy, had something valuable to offer you, I had no problem asking you to stay with me, to meet me halfway. To argue with you and challenge you and be a partner for you. I was starting to feel like my old self. But then the PTSD flared up again, and I scared you and I thought for the first time in over a year that maybe I wasn't good for you after all and only brought trouble. That maybe it would be better for you to be free to focus on your first love, surgery, and find someone who would be there only to cater to your every desire and ask nothing in return. And maybe Teddy was all I deserved. It wouldn't be the end of the world -she is a good person, we were friends and I know she loves me more than surgery. I could see myself through the eyes of someone who remembered that unscarred person I used to be. And she wants kids so I would have that to give someone else – I could be useful and make someone happy. I won't deny I always thought I would have kids and I know they could bring me some measure of happiness. I could have an okay life and you could go on and have everything you want and deserve. I became insecure and so I let myself envision that scenario. So I did a terrible thing and I didn't answer you when you asked who I loved. Because whatever answer I gave you, that would be it forever, no going back. In that moment I could burden you with me forever or I could separate myself from you forever. That was the only moment in my entire life I felt like a coward and it was the worst feeling I ever had.

But the truth is, I realized it doesn't matter what I think you should hear. What I owe you is the truth, so you can make up your own mind on your own terms. You have the power to decide whatever you want. And the truth is you are the love of my life. The only woman I want to spend my life with. There is no doubt. I didn't need a gunman to make me see that, but it did remind me that life is too precious to waste time with anything other than complete honesty. And if you decide you don't want this, you can tell me without guilt. You've already brought me more happiness than I could have ever imagined. I will live and find a way forward and wish you well.

Cristina was silent for a minute before a small smile played at the corner of her mouth:

You idiot. Did you think I didn't know what I was getting into with you? You say how much trouble you've been in your after, but I could tell you were plenty of trouble in your before, too. Part of the reason I fell for you in the first place. I don't want a yes man or servant, nor do I want a father figure or a protector, someone to idolize me or lecture me. I want a partner. I need a partner. You think you've only brought me problems? Well let me tell you, buster, Cristina Yang never freakin' skipped in her life before you came along. Or hit a baseball and loved it. Or allowed herself to push the limits of a relationship and know that somehow it wouldn't break. You don't realize what you've done for me. FN 1 How you've allowed me to change in ways I never thought I wanted to change. I thought I wanted surgery and nothing else (except maybe some really good sex now and then and maybe someone to cook me dinner.) I thought opening up and letting others in would make me weak but I've never had as much joy as I've had since I started appreciating that other people matter, too. I'm over-confident and ambitious and that won't ever completely change, but I did whatever I wanted after my father died without anyone having the guts to tell me I shouldn't do something. Because I'm smart, It worked for much of my life, but I'm a grownup now, with real life and death responsibilities and my hubris could have easily lead to disaster at some point. I know that because you love me you will stop me before I harm myself like that, even if it means I'm pissed off at you for a while.

And as for Teddy. Well that really better damn well be resolved now. But, you'll never believe this one, Meredith asked me what I would do if Burke came back and asked me to reconsider, told me the kids didn't matter, I was all that mattered and we could do heart surgeries 24/7– would I have a moment of doubt. And I have to admit, I would take a day to consider. And if you asked me what I thought before I was ready to answer you might not like my reaction either. And it's ridiculous, because I've never felt so sure about anything in my life. You're the only person I want to spend my life with, the only person who makes my heart skip a beat when I think about the future. You're the best man I've ever known, not to mention the best sex I've ever had. And about that other thing – I never liked kids. I never wanted kids in the abstract. But, after all, I think there's a chance I just might want yours. FN 2

Fn 1: Sentence based on line from movie version of "Age of Innocence" by Edith Wharton

Fn2: Sentence based on line from "Gaudy Night" by Dorothy Sayers


	2. Meredith and Owen

Meredith and Owen:

Owen was just coming out of Derek's room to check on his progress and see what he could do to help the hospital run smoothly when he saw the petite blond heading his way.

"Hello, Meredith. How are you doing?" Owen asked gently. She was braver than he had expected. And stronger. He had gained a new respect for Cristina's friend after the other day's horrific events. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite person, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry about what you had to go through. And if there's anything I can do for you and Derek, please let me know."

Meredith looked Owen up and down, her expression inscrutable:

"You know, I don't hate you, even if I've come this close to kicking your ass recently. You need to understand, I meant what I said to you a few weeks ago about Cristina finally being happy again and I know that's mostly because of you. For the first time since I've known her, she started laughing out of joy, not just out of out a feeling of superiority or mockery.

I know you think I've meddled and that I have no business interfering. But I won't apologize for trying to protect my friend from any more unhappiness as long as I have the power to do something about it.

I know what it's like to love someone who chooses someone else, who's conflicted about his past. I almost didn't make it through when it happened to me. And that was in the early stages of my relationship with Derek – I don't think I could have ever recovered if it happened at the point you are Cristina are. Derek and I found our way back to each other, finally, but I never wanted Cristina to go through what I went through.

Just for the record, I defended you last fall because I knew you had Cristina's best interests at heart and thought you would do the right thing for her even though it cost you something. And you didn't run when she had her crisis over career and offered to trade you – you stuck by her when any other man would have walked away. So I was happy for her. But I could see something was going on with you these last few weeks, even if you weren't admitting it to yourself. And it doesn't matter to me if it's related to PTSD or not, intentional or not, because all I care about is how it affects Cristina. Cristina was hurt very badly before by another "good man" who didn't fully understand what he really wanted out of life until it was almost too late. In the end, he may have done the right thing, but I will do anything I can to prevent something like that from happening again. And if you had seen her in the hours and days and weeks after the wedding . . . . well, you just might kick your own ass for what you've been doing. She's had her share of pain.

You made your first step when you came clean about what happened with Teddy. And then the other day . . ., well what I saw - it wasn't so much that you came back to help her – I know that whatever your choice, you still cared about Cristina and that you were a decent enough person to want to save her and anyone else you could. The thing I saw was how Cristina gained strength from your presence. What I saw when you told her to keep going was someone who recognized how strong she is, how brilliant she is, who didn't patronize her, who didn't try to stop her from doing what she needed to do just because it might be better for him - someone who knew just how important her friend is to her. I saw the kind of man who may deserve her. And I saw a man who was terrified of losing the woman he loves and willing to give his life for her.

So, as long as you are honest with her, and you are vigilant about keeping up your therapy, I won't try to stand in your way. And Derek likes you, so there's another point in your favor. But make no mistake, I'll be watching you.

Owen started breathing easier as she spoke but he knew he would have a long way to go before Meredith would stop waiting for him to mess up. He took a deep breath, "You're right, I was pretty angry with you and I thought you were sticking your nose where it didn't belong. I thought I was entitled to figure things out for myself. I told Cristina and I'll tell you, my love for her was never in doubt – I have never felt this way before and never will again. But I doubted a lot of other things – what Cristina deserved, what I deserved. I thought you just didn't understand what I was going through. But I realize even if I told myself I was just protecting Cristina, it's clear trying to hide my problems wasn't the answer. It turns out I was just hurting her – the one thing I've been trying to guard against. And trying to make decisions involving us without talking to her about it did more damage than any uncomfortable conversation I could have had with her about past memories and feelings I was trying to reconcile with my present. I should have known better. So, I guess what I'm saying is, maybe you were right. I can see how much you love Cristina, and how you were willing to put your life on the line for her. I'll make you a deal: you come to me first if I ever act stupid again and I promise to listen to what you have to say."

Meredith paused for a moment: "Deal."

"You know, we could have used people like you and Cristina in Iraq. You were both incredibly brave and determined in there."

"Why would I give up all the excitement of Seattle – bazooka ammo in stomachs, ferry boat accidents . . . never a dull moment. " She started to walk out then turned around. "Once Derek's back home you and Cristina should come over for dinner. And bring your guitar. Derek needs a guitar buddy."


	3. Cristina and Mrs Hunt

Cristina and Mrs. Hunt:

The white-haired blue-eyed woman entered the hospital cautiously. She hadn't been in a hospital since her beloved husband of 35 years had died and it still gave her a chill. But she wanted to see her son. He had spent the night in his childhood room the night of the shooting, while Cristina spent the night at Meredith's. It had been a real comfort to have him near and they had had a long talk – one of several they had finally been able to have in recent months.

Cristina looked up from her chart and immediately walked over, giving the woman a hug. Somehow hugging Mrs. Hunt felt natural.

"Cristina, I'm so happy to see you. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay, all things considered – how much has Owen told you?"

"Enough . . . I'm sorry you had to go through all that – but as I understand it you were unbelievably brave and kept your head about you. Owen said he hadn't seen anyone with more courage in all his time in Iraq."

Cristina knew she shouldn't smile but she couldn't help herself. "So anyway, I guess you're here to see Owen. He's in surgery and probably won't be out for another 2 hours. Do you want to wait? I don't have much time but we could get some coffee."

"As much as I'd love to, I really just came by to drop off something for Owen. I'm sorry to have missed him," said Mrs. Hunt.

"You can leave it with me and I'll get it to him."

"I think I'll just wait until I see him."

"Or I can take you to his office and you can leave it there if you prefer."

"Maybe that's a good idea," said Mrs. Hunt as Cristina led her down the hall.

The pair entered Owen's office and Mrs. Hunt proceeded to walk over to Owen's desk and open the top drawer. Cristina noticed that Mrs. Hunt seemed a little uncomfortable all of a sudden – she had turned her back and took something out of her purse. She seemed to be trying to look casual but just seemed nervous as she tried to manoeuvre the desk drawer, holding her purse between the drawer and Cristina, blocking Cristina's view.

"Doggoneit!" exclaimed Mrs. Hunt as her hand slipped and a small box rolled under the desk and landed near Cristina's feet.

Cristina automatically bent down to pick it up and then paused mid-way when she noticed the shape: 1 inch square . . . well she was down there so . . .

Mrs. Hunt was starting to ramble in her nervousness as Cristina handed her the box, "I'd thought I lost it . . . I've been looking for it for – wow, almost two years ago since Owen first asked me for it. And then, I was just cleaning out the back closet and I remembered . . . I had put it in a "safe" place where I wouldn't lose it . . . funny, huh?"

"Yeah, funny," Cristina didn't know what to say. "So is that . . . um . . . ."

"Oh, dear . . . well, I guess there's no use trying to deny it. Yes, it's my wedding ring. Please don't worry . . . Owen said you might not ever want to get married, or wear a ring, but he wanted it all the same."

Cristina thought for a moment, "But you said he first asked for it almost two years ago."

"Yes."

"But that's as long as we've known each other."

"Um hum."

Cristina looked at Mrs. Hunt, just trying to puzzle it out. "I hate to play hardball, Lilah, but you're not leaving this room until I get some answers. What exactly did Owen say two years ago?"

"Cristina . . . you really should talk to Owen – this shouldn't be coming from me."

"Lilah, I'm really not kidding. Spill it."

Mrs. Hunt looked at the fierce woman standing in front of her – resistance was clearly futile. "Owen first asked me for my ring shortly after he had broken off his engagement with Beth, when he was home on leave that last time. He had been in a car accident the day before and said he'd just met The One. I thought he was being rash, seeing as how he had just spent years engaged to the wrong woman - don't get me wrong, Beth was a very sweet person and would have given me lots of lovely grandchildren, just . . . well, I never thought she was quite right for Owen . . . not enough for him. Plus, I kind of thought he once had a thing for his friend Teddy – but he never talked about her in quite that way, with that kind of passionate certainty. And he had never asked for my ring before. Anyway, he had only known this person for a day. Then I thought about the fact that I had fallen for his father the first time I met him – and I never regretted it, not even that difficult year after he got back from Vietnam. Owen promised not to get involved in anything until he was back from his tour, so I agreed to look for my ring. And then, well you know better than anyone what happened last year. Owen asked me for it again a few months ago – and I renewed my search, this time with a happy and eager heart, knowing who it would be offered to. And then last night I found it."

Cristina thought for a minute, "Can I see it?"

Mrs. Hunt opened the box, revealing a beautiful, simple hand-hammered gold band. "Owen's father had found it in an antique shop – 18th century I understand. We were married young and when we had more money later on he would always threaten to get me a big gaudy diamond , but I flatly refused. I never wanted anything but this. He had it inscribed, "Love of my life."

Cristina just stared at the ring.

"I hope I haven't spoiled anything for you, Cristina."

Cristina just shook her head and hugged Mrs. Hunt.

"I should really go now, the dog needs to be walked and the truth is, I still don't like hospitals much." Mrs. Hunt noticed that Cristina looked as if she wanted to be alone for a minute. "Don't worry, I can find my way out."

"Lilah . . . thank you," Cristina said to the departing woman.

Five minutes later, Cristina was still staring at the open box. Then she picked up the ring and tried it on. It fit perfectly.


End file.
